Recently I enjoyed work. And I still do. But then there are those days.
I have been in a situation where I could provide feedback to our senior IT management. I gave feedback to manager A, that there are examples, where he is micro managing.
Manager B stepped in to say that his direct reports would not complain and that he would not micro manage. I gave an example where he has micro managing tendencies and he got pretty aggressive.
The head of IT then made the remark, that addressing direct 1:1 feedback in a group constellation is maybe not ideal. So I was double fucked, on the one hand someone who was not able to react professionally to my feedback (valid or invalid feedback aside) and then the head of IT, the same guy who is asking for challenge and direct feedback, puts my feedback into the „inappropriate“ area. Naughty step. Trash. Bin.
I will have to work with these guys going forward. It’ll work somehow. But it will be difficult with feedback going forward, as I feel it’s not worth it. It just creates a counter reaction and as I am on the weaker end, I feel I carry more damage home than value created in the office.
I have to fathom out if this is a good place to stay. For the time being it pays well, there is still stuff I can do and maybe doing less of this feedback stuff, treats me well in quite a few ways.
At the moment I am steaming and can’t calm down really. I hope I can soon, as this is not how I want to feel.
In the back of my head is my potential skin cancer issue, which I am following up on this week. But even the black skin cancer I have seems like the more attractive topic then thinking about work. Tells me something. I have to ponder on this further.
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